Jadrian Page 11

  “Taura,” he said, loud enough to carry to her but not startle. “You should swim back before the current carries you too far.”

  She rolled over and disappeared beneath the surface briefly, then popped up and swam in his direction.

  After a few strokes it was obvious to both of them the current was gaining on her.

  “Jadrian, help!”

  He was already stripping out of his utility pants and the shirt, kicking off his boots. With a distant part of his mind he registered her clothes lying on the tree trunk, which meant she’d gone swimming naked and he was about to be, but there was nothing to be done about that. Smoothly, he split the water in a shallow dive and let his forward momentum propel him underwater. Then he was stroking rapidly toward her.

  “Relax, turn on your back again,” he said as he took a breath and checked on her status. “I’ll be there in a minute, and I’ll tow you to shore.”

  She rolled and submerged. He thought his heart stopped, and he covered the remaining distance in record time. She surfaced, fighting the water to stay afloat, gasping, not panicking, but clearly in trouble. He caught her in his arms and pulled her close, while he treaded water for both of them. “I’ve got you, Taura.”

  She wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her breasts to his chest and her legs around his waist. She flailed and clung to him, teetering close to panic.

  “I’ve got you,” he said. “The lake can’t overpower me, don’t worry.”

  She shivered in his arms and her skin was cold. “Don’t—don’t scold,” she said through chattering teeth. “It just felt so good to swim.”

  “Of course I won’t scold you. I neglected to warn you of the current outside the drop-off. Let’s get you on your back comfortably, and I’ll tow you to the tree.” He kept his voice matter of fact.

  Jadrian had to maneuver her to the floating position he wanted, doing his best to avoid touching her any more than he had to. Eventually, he dove under her, coming up behind and looping his arm around her. He made sure to keep her facing the shore, which was visible in the moonlight, then he swam as hard as he could to escape the current and get Taura to safety. Their bodies were forced together by the water as he swam, but he pushed every thought from his head other than getting her out of the water.

  When he reached the tree trunk, he set his course for shore, walking the last few feet with her in his arms, her head lolling against his chest. The bank was soft sand and velvet moss in this area, so he laid her down carefully. “How are you doing?”

  “Cold. I need Badari warmth.” She reached for him, and he took her into his arms again.

  “I should get your clothes,” he said. “We need to get home, and I can light the fire, wrap you up.”

  “I would have drowned,” she said in a quiet voice so unlike her usual tone he was alarmed all over again.

  “I’d never let that happen.” The mere thought distressed him, because she was right. It had been a close thing, as tired and cold as she’d gotten. They both needed reassurance.

  Unexpectedly, she turned on his lap, pulled his head down to hers and kissed him, a chaste enough caress at first, until she ran her tongue over the seam of his lips, plainly asking for entry. Throwing caution to the winds, he tilted his head to a better angle and opened to her inquisitive tongue, tangling with his. Lost in the pleasure, Jadrian held her close, exploring the sensations of her mouth against his. She was spice and warmth and silken excitement to taste and he couldn’t deny himself the opportunity to get closer to her any longer.

  Without breaking the kiss off, Taura locked her legs around his waist and made noises of pleasure as she rocked her softness over the hard steel of his aching arousal. Unable to resist, Jadrian raised one hand to caress the side of her breast, savoring the way she reacted to his deliberate stroking over her pebbled nipple.

  He broke off the kiss to nuzzle her neck while she ran her hands through his hair and arched her back to raise her breasts to his attention again. She ran one hand over his chest, tracing the well-defined muscles of his abdomen, and reached between their bodies to glide her hand over his cock, squeezing and massaging.

  Although he’d never felt such pleasure before, Jadrian forced himself to sit motionless for a hard-won moment. “Are you sure you want to do this? We said nothing physical would happen between us. Friends only.”

  She was silent, only her hand on his arousal giving him reassurance.

  “Taura, tell me to stop and I will.”

  She slid her free hand over his chest and rubbed her palm over one of his nipples, the sensation arousing him as everything she did seemed to do. “I don’t want you to stop. I don’t want to stop. I’ve been so attracted to you from the first time we met, I can’t stand it anymore. My reasons for not making a commitment are still all there, still valid, but I nearly died tonight. I don’t want to put my life on hold any longer. This is a special, magical night, almost as if we had the entire world to ourselves, and we’re meant to be together, right here, right now.” She smiled at him and his heart turned over with a painful thump. He knew he and his good intentions were lost to the power of her siren seduction as she kept talking. “We can make a pact, one night only, no strings. Tomorrow in the daylight we can revert to being just friends. Tonight we’re beings of the forest and the lake and we have no rules. No clouded past, no uncertain future. No barriers between us.”

  Unable to resist, he kissed the graceful column of her throat and then nuzzled his head against her for a heartbeat. “My desire for you has been difficult to conceal. But I don’t—I haven’t been with a woman by choice in my entire life. I wished to save the experience for my mate, if ever I was blessed to find her.”

  Taura withdrew her hand from her tight grip on him and he made a wordless sound of protest. The pressure of her fingers caging him was an incredible stimulus.

  He kissed her fingers and wrapped them around the iron hard girth of his manhood again. “Please,” he said. “I want you to touch me.”

  She obliged, stroking and caressing in a pattern making him shiver with desire and delight. “Never been with a woman by choice?”

  “The Khagrish believed Badari needed to be trained to use sex for—for purposes of war. They hired professionals to come in periodically and give instruction. We had no choice.”

  “That’s the most heart breaking thing I ever heard,” she said, reaching to explore his balls and then run one finger down the sensitive skin behind them. “I’m angry on your behalf.”

  “And there were times female Khagrishi scientists desired the experience of lying with a Badari.” He shuddered at the memories. “I regret speaking of these things with you in my arms, my beautiful friend.”

  She put her free hand on his cheek and gazed into his eyes. “Nothing’s off limits between us, remember? We’re survivors together. None of the things in your past can spoil what’s between us tonight.”

  He rubbed noses with her in an affectionate gesture. “Any more than your lost memories can count?”

  “Exactly. This is what we both want, am I right?” Although nodding, Taura acted as if she craved further reassurance.

  “More than I can say.” Jadrian’s cock jerked against her hand’s grip at the mere idea of making love to her, giving silent evidence of his desire to proceed.

  “But I can’t make commitments until I’m sure of myself, am fully aware of what’s hiding in my blocked memory.” Her voice was hesitant. “Will you regret giving yourself to me tonight, if we don’t ever take this further and become mates? I don’t want to ruin a special occasion you were saving for your mate, if I don’t turn out to be that lucky woman.”

  “I don’t know if I can deny my feelings for you tomorrow.” It killed him to utter the words, but his emotions were all over the place right now. He wanted to lay her on the moss and thrust deep into her body, to be joined as one. I want to claim her with my mate mark. “But tonight, right now, I want you and I want you to be my first true lover.”

  “I can’t offer any more than this,” she whispered. “Only tonight.”

  “Then I choose to experience this happiness with you now.” Despite speaking the words and meaning them, he tried to argue with himself this was a bad idea, but her skillful use of her hands and mouth to stoke his erotic fires made dispassionate decision impossible. Emotion overrode caution. Taura was enchantment personified in the moonlight, and he’d never wanted anything more than he wanted her right now. The future would have to take care of itself.

  “Let go, Jadrian, stop worrying,” she whispered. “I know what I want and that’s you, inside me.” She moved from his lap, taking him by the hand and pulling him down as she reclined on the moss. “One step at a time, starting with tonight.”

  “You’ll tell me if anything I do upsets you or reminds you of—of times you don’t want to remember?” He brought his lower body over hers, his cock nudging the soft folds between her legs, but he kept his weight on his elbows. Smoothing her hair off her face and toying idly with one of the curls he so admired, he lost himself in her eyes, which had a dreamy cast to them. “I’ll go slow.”

  “So caring, always,” she said, cupping his cheek with her hand. “You’re an amazing man, Jadrian of the Badari. I wish I dared to give up the task of regaining my memories.”

  Although he too wished she could move forward without knowing all the details of her past, he knew Taura well enough by now to be sure she’d never be happy. Would be unable to stop worrying about who she’d been and what she’d done. “But you can’t live without the knowledge. I understand.”

  “I have to understand my past before I’ll feel free—safe—to pursue anything lasting and permanent.”

  “Hey, remember what we said? We’re not thinking about the past or tomorrow. Only tonight, yes?” He lowered his head to lick and taste one incredibly soft breast, to tease the rosy, pebbled tip before turning his attention to the other. “We’re here now.”

  Jadrian was such a considerate lover, although she was conscious of his barely leashed eagerness as he touched and caressed her. The idea of him holding all that strength and power in check was strangely exciting. There was an endearing shyness about him at first, amazing to behold in a big, tough warrior, although she did her best to encourage him to explore all the sensitive areas of her body without reservation. She certainly enjoyed herself, running her hands over his chiseled physique and figuring out where he was especially sensitive, which moves on her part heightened his arousal. The moonlight bathed the nearby forest and the lake in silvery light and she felt as if she’d fallen into a fairy tale, albeit of the erotic kind.

  He drove into her, gently at first then more vigorously as she rocked her hips and clenched around him. She let him know with murmured words and her own actions she wasn’t as delicate as he feared, that she wanted all he could give. Taura wished she could promise Jadrian something more concrete than the offer to share one night of mutually desired lovemaking. But the few memories of herself she’d recovered implied maybe she hadn’t been a law abiding, trustworthy person. She couldn’t ask him for commitment or offer one in good faith until she knew what she was dealing with.

  As if he heard her thoughts, he moved his devoted attention from her breasts and kissed her long and deep, matching the way he was moving in her body. He drove all conscious thought from her mind as his long, thick ribbed cock touched her innermost places, bringing sensations so exquisitely pleasurable Taura arched against him and tried not to scream too loudly as the climax took her. Jadrian finished a heartbeat after her, and they held each other tight as the sensory echoes vibrated through their bodies.

  “That was amazing.” She pulled him close with her legs, unwilling to allow him to slip from her body yet.

  “We Badari recover fast.” He nibbled on her earlobe before he rolled away to lie on his stomach and eye her like a playful cat preparing to pounce.

  She caressed him lazily, running her hand over his shoulders, pausing to kiss a particularly prominent scar in regretful and affectionate recognition of all he’d suffered. I wish I had the power to take away all the pain and scars. Then she traced the strong column of his spine and massaged the muscles of his amazing butt. “Do I detect a not-so-subtle hint?”

  “Information only.” His grin was wide as he moved to lay her on her back again, coming over her with his already hardening cock in an unmistakable request for entry.

  Rolling her hips a bit and clenching her muscles around him, she enthusiastically urged him to begin round two, drawing him deep into her body for a continuation of their mutual pleasure.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  Towards morning they lay together on the soft moss, staring at the stars, her head pillowed on his shoulder.

  “We should probably get dressed and get going to the cave,” he said. “You’re getting chilled now—I see tiny bumps on your skin.”

  “I suppose you’re right, but I hate to break the mood.” She kissed his cheek. “This was a special night for me.”

  “For me as well.” He ran a hand over her belly. “Should I have worried because we took no precautions? I should have asked before I touched you, but you drove thought from my head. No room for anything but the desire to make love to you.”

  “Women in the Sectors commonly have injects to protect them from getting pregnant,” she said. “Until or if they decide they’re ready. I imagine I wasn’t any different than other women. I can check with the doctor next time I see her. She can measure my levels.” And until then I’ll keep my fingers crossed.

  “I would like a child someday,” he said, staring out over the lake. “To be a father is an almost impossible dream for a Badari, yet Mateer will soon know the pleasure and responsibility. I rejoice for him, and I envy him.” Now he gazed into her eyes and the light in his own was dimmed by sadness. “But I would not wish to create a child in an unmated relationship.”

  The wistful tone in his voice touched a similar chord in her mind, yet at the same time, reconfirmed her belief she couldn’t allow their relationship to develop further until she was at peace with her past. Two people should be able to be honest with each other at all times and, right now, it was impossible for her to tell him anything for sure about herself. She kissed his cheek again, made herself rise from their mossy bed and head toward the spot on the tree trunk where their clothes lay.

  “Have I upset you?” he asked, hastily joining her. “That was not my intention.”

  Taura didn’t look at him because she thought she’d cry if she did. She concentrated on getting dressed as fast a she could. “Not at all. I’m fine. But even an enchanted evening ends.”

  “Taura.” He gripped her shoulder gently and turned her towards him. He tilted her chin up so she was forced to meet his eyes. “I’ll always be here for you, no matter what. I’ll do my best not to pressure you, but I have to say again I want so much more than friendship and an occasional night together in bed.”

  She wished she could give him what he wanted—what they both wanted, if she was going to be honest—but her inner caution about what secrets she might be keeping in her blocked memory made her hold back. “I know, but I can’t pledge more right now. Maybe not ever.” She laid her hand over her heart. “I know here it’d be wrong of me. You deserve so much more than life with a person as broken and complicated as I am.”

  He gathered her into a hug, resting his head gently on top of hers. “I want you beside me as you are now or in any condition. My heart won’t change.”

  Going forward, Taura slept in the big bed by herself. They never discussed the change, but she knew she’d be too tempted to turn to Jadrian if he lay there beside her. She supposed he felt the same. Besides, he’d promised not to pressure her.

  After a week of bad nightmares, flashbacks, and flickers of memory, she and Jadrian reported to their daily consultation with Dr. Garrison. Worryingly, her disjointed memories were swiftly beginning to be the most alarming parts of her day.

  At her appointment, Taura recited the events since the day before, but she held back the fact the bits of memory she was experiencing were depressing and frightening. Friends, family, or loved ones were never in the picture. She was always alone in a crowd or an unfamiliar place, and there was a pervasive undercurrent of danger. There were also disconcerting indications she’d been up to no good, like her thoughts in the memory from her wardrobe that had been the first sliver of recall.

  All of those concerns and details she kept from Jadrian and the well-meaning doctor. She had no concrete reason to withhold the information other than an instinctive tendency toward self-preservation, as if keeping secrets about herself was critical and deeply ingrained into her essential nature.

  Megan tapped her stylus on the desk in a cheerful staccato as Taura finished describing a benign memory of being in a garden. “I think we’re making good progress actually. You both appear more rested.” Clasping her hands on the desk and leaning forward, the doctor frowned. “I have to tell you I’m under a certain amount of pressure from pack leadership.” She looked at Jadrian. “Aydarr and Mateer want you to report for duty on the line.”

  “I was promised time to assist Taura—” Voice rising, cheeks flushing with emotion, his protest was instantaneous.

  “Cool down, even the alpha isn’t suggesting she’s fully functional yet. He does, however, want me to approve her for an assignment, and for us to try the experiment of Taura functioning for a few hours without your constant presence. It has been a week—Aydarr kept his word.” Megan shifted her focus to Taura with a quick smile. “I apologize for speaking of you in the third person but this part of the discussion was more about him than you. Do you feel up to trying a short work assignment?”

  -->